It's Songkran time again here in Thailand. Two weeks to get away from school, the war and SARS worries. I spent the first few days on Koh Surin, a group of five beautiful small islands 45 miles off the coast of Thailand near Phuket. The beach, jungle and snorkeling has put this place top of my recommendations for visitors list. It truly is the "Bounty" experience (chocolate bar advert not 'Mutiny on...') and a place were you really are away from it all, living in tents on the beach, electricity only a few hours a day and no phones or mobile phone signal.
Just to prove ...
- I was there;
- I don't get any thinner do I?
Gadget of the Month!
I have just found out that I can receive emails on my new mobile phone. Amazing!
Send me a short message (a caption for the picture above would be good) by email to
john@transum.org ... I'm like a kid with a new toy.... or you could phone me (country code for Thailand 66) (0)1 69 929 68
From my sister:
1. Why does a gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your bum?
5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?
6. If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullsh*t?
7. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
8. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for
centuries' have a 'use by' date?
10. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
11. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
13. What do people in China call their good plates?
14. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
15. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don'tpoint to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
16. Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
17. What do you call male ballerinas?
18. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
19. If Wildy Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why couldn't he just buy dinner?
20. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
21. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
22. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
23. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him,is he still wrong?
24. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
25. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
26. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Weird Things You Would Never Know!!
Butterflies taste with their feet.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
It's possible to lead a cow upstairs.. but not downstairs.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.
The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
A snail can sleep for three years.
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never
stop growing. - SCARY!!!
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
All polar bears are left handed.
In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
"Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
Almost everyone who reads this will try to lick their elbow.