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October 2001 |
Monday 1st
Without wanting to sound like Bridget Jones' diary, I can now inform you that I have just passed the half way mark of a personal challenge. While I am in no where near being an alcoholic, or even being a heavy drinker, I am a regular drinker. I usually have a scotch or two last thing in the day and I drink wine with most meals. On the 15th September I picked up a cheap book from the local bookshop called "Give up drink for 30 days" or something similar. I decided that if I was not addicted it would be no big deal... and here I am half way through saying "it's no big deal".
It's never over till the fat lady sings. Well I don't know a singing fat lady but I do know Jas (he's pretty fat) is coming out to visit in the middle of this month. Jas and seven other friends do turn me into a heavy drinker so my objective this month is to last out without alcohol till they arrive then ... well who knows!
Tuesday 2nd
School closes at lunch time today due to a burst water main. An interesting exercise in contacting 1800 sets of parents by phone,
warning them that their child is being sent home before allowing the children to leave the school.
Got home to a muddy house thanks to the builders, who by my calculations should have finished by now.
Wednesday 3rd
The next door neighbours are having a wedding on Saturday and want to know if they can pitch a
Go ahead and take risks....just be sure that everything will turn out OK
Thursday 4th
Happy Birthday Julie (sister)
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.Friday 5th
Now the next door neighbours have advanced their plans and want to know it they can cook in my drive. I could imagine the scene, cooks, builders, brides, drunken guests wandering into my house to find the toilet.
I could see the floor in my house rapidly being coated with a mixture of mud, beer and wedding cake. I could see my prize roses being trampled to a mush ... well I couldn't really as I dont have any roses and if I did I'm sure they wouldn't win prizes!
Saturday 6th
Decided to go away for the weekend.
had plans for Rayong but instead traveled only half the distance and stayed in Ban Saen. I've been there before. There is a long beach with a few thousand umbrellas and even more deck chairs. It is popular with Thais for a weekend away from Bangkok and many family groups just come for the
There is a cinema there. I saw "Evolution". Didn't think much of it though.
Sunday 7th
Decided to face reality and come back to see what the builders were up to and to look at the after effects of the wedding. The weather wasn't too good today either.
To my surprise they'd done a great job of clearing up after the wedding but the builders were in the middle of an unbelievable mess and taking their lunchtime siesta flat out on my front room carpet!
The evening was better with Sak experimenting with a new recipe... Roast Chicken with Parsley mousse
Monday 8th
Busy day at school followed by circuit training and then a second workout rearranging the office at
Tuesday 9th
Six days left of my 30 day alcohol free phase. We have the substance misuse people in school this week talking to the pupils. Both of the presenters are reformed alcoholics.
I thought the following was funny: Alky warning
I have replaced my normal nightcap of Johnny Walker Red with a couple of drops of Angostura bitters in a tumbler of Sprite:
Angostura aromatic bitters is a blend of rare tropical herbs and spices that is used to flavour and season a great variety of food dishes and certain alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks.
The formula was first compounded in 1824 by Dr. Johann Siegert, Surgeon-General in the army of the great liberator of South America, Simón Bolivar. Dr. Seigert's headquarters were in the port of Angostura, Venezuela, a city now known as Ciudad Bolivar. The doctor experimented for four years before finding the exact formula he was after to improve the appetites and well-being of his troops. Sailors putting into the port discovered the bitters and bought bottles to carry away with them. Soon the fame of "Angostura" bitters spread around the world.
Angostura is now the single most widely distributed bar item in the world.
ANGOSTURA'S SECRET
A common misconception is that Angostura aromatic bitters contains the bark of the Angostura tree. This is not so. In fact, only five living men know the actual formula. Beyond saying that it contains herbs and spices, the Siegert family has kept the formula for Angostura bitters one of the most guarded secrets in history. About twenty years ago, the ink started to fade on the slip of paper carrying the formula that was deposited in a vault in Barclay's Bank in New York City. From its hiding place on the island of Trinidad, where Angostura is now made, the only other copy of the formula was extracted.
Behind locked doors, the information was carefully transferred to another sheet of paper, the new copy was cut into four parts and sealed with sealing wax into four separate envelopes.
Individually - and separately - the four parts were sent by registered mail to New York. Each succeeding quarter was dispatched only after the arrival of the preceding one had been confirmed. Unopened, the four sealed envelopes remain in the vault.
Wednesday 10th
My new DVD player is very good. It offers so much more than video, the cinema or VCD. Today I
Thursday 11th
Just got into work (6:45am) and received an email from Nick:
I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder
This is how it goes...
I decide to do work on the car, start to the garage and notice the mail on the table. OK, I'm going to work on the car... BUT FIRST I'm going to go through the mail. Lay car keys down on desk. After discarding the junk mail,
I notice the trash can is full. OK, I'll just put the bills on my desk.... BUT FIRST I'll take the trash out, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox, I'll address a few bills.... Yes, Now where is the checkbook? Oops.. there's only one check left. Where did I put the extra checks?
Oh, there is my empty plastic cup from last night on my desk. I'm going to look for those checks... BUT FIRST I need to put the cup back in the kitchen. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice the flowers need a drink of water, I put the cup on the counter and there's my extra pair of glasses on the kitchen counter. What are they doing here? I'll just put them away...
BUT FIRST need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! someone left the TV remote on the wrong spot. Okay, I'll put the remote away and water the plants... BUT FIRST I need to find those checks.
END OF DAY: Oil in car not changed, bills still unpaid, cup still in the sink, checkbook still has only one check left, lost my car keys, .. And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because... I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!
I realize this condition is serious... I'd get help... BUT FIRST...I think I'll check my e-mail.
Friday 12th
And while I'm filling up the diary with things I didn't write... here's something else. I read it in one of Bill Bryson's books last night and thought it would be just the thing to include in my weekly email to all the staff at school:
“HELP! The other day I called my computer helpline, because I needed
to be made to feel ignorant by someone much younger than me, and the boyish-sounding person who answered told me he required the serial number on my computer before he could deal with me.
'And where do I find that?' I asked warily. 'It's on the bottom of the CPU functional dysequilibrium unit,' he said, or words of a similarly confounding nature.
This, you see, is why I don't call my computer helpline very often. We haven't been talking four seconds and already I can feel a riptide of ignorance and shame pulling me out into the icy depths of Humiliation Bay. Any minute now, I know with a sense of doom, he's going to ask me how much RAM I have.
'Is that anywhere near the TV-screen thingy?' I ask helplessly. 'Depends. Is your model the Z-40LX Multimedia HPii or the ZX46/2Y Chromium B-BOP?'
And so it goes. The upshot is that the serial number for my computer is engraved on a little metal plate on the bottom of the main control box - the one with the CD drawer that is kind of fun to open and shut. Now call me an idealistic fool, but if I were going to put an identifying number on every computer I sold and then require people to regurgitate that number each time they wanted to communicate with me, I don't believe I would put it in a place that required the user to move furniture and get the help of a neighbour each time he wished to consult it. However, that is not my point.
My model number was something like CQ124765900-03312- DiP/22/4. So here is my point: Why? Why does my computer need a number of such breathtaking complexity? If every neutrino in the universe, every particle of matter between here and the furthest wisp of receding Big Bang gas, somehow acquired a computer from this company there would still be plenty of spare numbers under such a system.
Intrigued, I began to look at all the numbers in my life, and early everyone of them was absurdly excessive. My Barclaycard umber, for instance, has thirteen digits. That's enough for almost trillion potential customers. Who are they trying to kid? My Budget Rent-a-Car card has no fewer than seventeen digits. Even my local video shop appears to have 1.999 billion customers on its lists (which may explain why L.A. Confidential is always out). The most impressive by far is my Blue Cross/Blue Shield medical card - that is the card every American must carry if he doesn't want be left at an accident site - which not only identifies me as No. GH475907018 00, but also as a member of Group 02368. Presumably, then, each group has a person in it with the same umber as mine. You can almost imagine us having reunions.”
Saturday 13th
From Mark McCabe:
Sawatde kap,
I just checked into your doings on your diary. Re your entry of 10/04/01:
"Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you.
Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it."
In a similar vein:
"Some people can learn by reading;
Others need to piss on the electric fence for themselves."
PS Are you aware that Angostura bitters are a key ingredient and very nice in the Old-fashion recipe? It would be the perfect reintroduction of alcohol to your system after this month of folly! Just in case, the recipe, thus: a slice of orange, laid in the bottom of an Austrian crystal tumbler; a tsp. of brown sugar; a couple of Marachino cherries and some of its juice; a healthy dollop of Angostura bitters. Mash and muddle them. Add your beloved JWR to the strength necessary to beneficially alter your mood, height-to-weight ratio, strength and pheremone level; top off with Sprite. A toast to your health!
Sunday 14th
Charles! Are you reading this? Great restaurant recommendation for you. I was there last night. It's the only Hungarian restaurant in Thailand... Thonglor between sois 23 and 25.
Tel: 02 392 1881By my calculations, my 30 day alcohol free period is over at midnight tonight! But can I stay awake that long?
Monday 15th
I stayed awake till after midnight... now I've got a headache!
Nick says: "Before you decide to retake of the demon drink, just be aware that they've now discovered that alcohol contains the female hormone. This can be seen after drinking alcohol, it makes you talk a load of rubbish and affects your ability to drive!"
Had a beer and some wine with dinner, I must have lost my tolerance because I was fast asleep by 9pm.
Tuesday 16th
Increased security measures at school means I now do a duty from 6:45am till 7:40am at the main entrance to school each Tuesday morning. There have been some anti American/British demonstrations in the centre of Bangkok but on a very small scale.
Wednesday 17th
Jas, Pete, Ranj and Deepo arrive. True to form, Jas had no sleep on the plane but was raring to go for a night on the town. Started in the Meridian then on to Shenanigans. Those Thai spicy sausages tasted great after a few pints. I left them about ten when they were making big plans for the rest of the evening.
Thursday 18th
I'm writing this Friday morning with a hangover the size of Texas. It was dinner at my house and boy did we shift some booze. It was a laugh a minute all the way through till 1am but am I suffering for it now!
Friday 19th
Last day of School before the half term holiday. Dinner at one of those seafood places between Pantip and the World Trade centre (yes there's one here in Bangkok too)
Saturday 20th
Today's mission is to track down a tasteful water feature for the soon to be revamped back garden. There are places near Jatujak that have every type of water feature you can possibly imagine from nice stone, relaxing waterfalls to fountains based around a little boy pissing on an elephants ear.
Sunday 21st
Housebound as the gardeners and electricians are in working, six at the last count. Hope they sort the power out on the roof first as I have a roof top barbeque tonight.
Monday 22nd
Jas, Pete, Ranj and Deepo back at home after there trips to Cambodia and Singapore
Tuesday 23rd
We all go down to Pattaya for a couple of days at the Dusit Beach Resort. Weather not good but Jas and Pete got upgraded to a suite... Click on the picture here to see happy hour in all it's glory:
Wednesday 24th
Another drizzly day. Evening trip to the Alcazar Cabaret.
Brian poses for a photo with a ladyboy after the show!
Thursday 25th
I return to Bangkok to renew my Thai driving license. A good reason to abolish bureaucracy if ever I saw one! A good few hours wasted
Friday 26th
Plans for the visitors to cook an Indian meal this evening and serve it on the roof... It's 1pm and still raining so who knows what'll happen.
9pm The roof idea was a non starter, washed out, so we squeezed eight chairs around the dining table downstairs and enjoyed Deepo's creation. She had worked over 4 hours in the kitchen after searching for all the original ingredients in the local shops. She was very impressed with the range and freshness of the vegetables here and her recipes were equally impressive.
Saturday 27th
The bitter truth!! I was shocked to receive this email from Mark in The States. You will need to have read about my 30 day abstinence from alcohol in order to understand the impact:
I wasn't sure how to title this message; "Nice Try" sounded too sarcastic, "If at first you don't succeed" similarly so. "The road to hell is paved...blah blah blah." - definitely too preachy (especially from an intemperate Irishman). And it's really not meant as an admonishment, especially since I don't believe for a minute that you would knowingly mislead your loyal readership. But ...
I was putting a bottle of hooch back into the cabinet this evening and knocked over the Angostura Bitters. I picked it up and examined it's level - God forbid that we should run out some upcoming cool evening - and, as I looked at the bottle, this information leaped out at me: "45% alcohol by volume".
Armed with this valuable information, I trust you will do the right thing: don't worry about it! But as your friend, I had to let you know.
Sunday 28th
Jas and Pete have gone to Chiang Mai, Jean and Brian stayed in bed and I've dropped Ranj and Dee off at the Royal Palace. They then had a very full day doing the tourist attractions, afternoon tea at the Shangri La followed by shopping and drinking. I took the opportunity to catch up on some sleep.
Monday 29th
The happy tourists spent the day among the ancient ruins of Ayuthya today
Tuesday 30th
Deepo went for a Thai massage while Jas, Pete and Ranj went off to Lunmpini Stadium last night to see the Thai boxing.
Wednesday 31st
Today is the Loy Kratong festival in Thailand. The traditional end of the rainy season... and the end of heavy drinking season too as Jas and co are leaving on the red eye!
Diary:
