|
April 2001 |
Sunday 1st
Oh, to be in England
Now that April's there,
And whoever wakes in England
Sees, some morning, unaware,
That the lowest boughs and the brushwood sheaf
Round the elm-tree bole are in tiny leaf,
While the chaffinch sings on the orchard bough
In England - now!![Robert Browning (1812-1889)]
But, I am in Bangkok
Now that April's here,
And whoever wakes in Bangkok
Rues last evening, unaware,
That the hangover makes every sound
Louder than a drummer's pound
While the cockroach sings down the bathroom drain
In Bangkok - again!![John Tranter (1958- )]
It's a good job Nick and Greeny have left. There's a story on the front of "The Nation" declaring that the police here are operating a 10pm curfew in the main nightlife areas on all those under 40. Perhaps today's date has some bearing on the story.
Stayed at the very beautiful, 193 room Rose Garden Hotel just 32km west of Bangkok. The only thing distinguishing this place from paradise is the fact that when the wind is in the wrong direction, there's an overpowering stink from the local pig farms.
Monday 2nd
Sam sent this:
The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dave Pilkey.
The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names. Lest we take ourselves too seriously, take a moment to find your new name and wear it with humor for the day!
Use the THIRD letter of your first name to determine your NEW first name:
> a = stinky
> b = lumpy
> c = buttercup
> d = gidget
> e = crusty
> f = greasy
> g = fluffy
> h = cheeseball
> i = chim-chim
> j = poopsie
> k = flunky
> l = booger
> m = pinky
> n = zippy
> o = goober
> p = doofus
> q = slimy
> r = loopy
> s = snotty
> t = falafel
> u = dorkey
> v = squeezit
> w = oprah
> x = skipper
> y = dinky
> z = zsa-zsaUse the SECOND letter of your last name to determine the first half of your NEW last name:
> a = diaper
> b = toilet
> c = giggle
> d = bubble
> e = girdle
> f = barf
> g = lizard
> h = waffle
> i = cootie
> j = monkey
> k = potty
> l = liver
> m = banana
> n = rhino
> o = burger
> p = hamster
> q = toad
> r = gizzard
> s = pizza
> t = gerbil
> u = chicken
> v = pickle
> w = chuckle
> x = tofu
> y = gorilla
> z = stinker
Use the FOURTH letter of your last name to determine the second half of your NEW last name:
> a = head
> b = mouth
> c = face
> d = nose
> e = tush
> f = breath
> g = pants
> h = shorts
> i = lips
> j = honker
> k = butt
> l = brain
> m = tushie
> n = chunks
> o = hiney
> p = biscuits
> q = toes
> r = buns
> s = fanny
> t = sniffer
> u = sprinkles
> v = kisser
> w = squirt
> x = humperdinck
> y = brains
> z = juice
Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts.
Tuesday 3rd
Got the gout again, big time in my right ankle. Went to the hospital for some stronger medication limping like an old 'un. The plentiful hotel staff constantly came up to me offering a nang rot (sit car or wheel chair to you and me). I strangely felt self conscious and preferred to limp rather than be pushed round in a "sit car".
.....:"No thank you", "no thanks", "mai ow cap", "no it's OK thanks" ... until finally I shouted from the escalator: " I DO NOT WANT A SIT CAR !!!!!!!!" (well I didn't really but I did think about it)
Wednesday 4th
Gout slowly getting better. I can hobble around just enough to pack my suitcase for Friday.
Thursday 5th
Got a new laptop computer..... very nice. I'm writing this diary on it now. Great screen 14" and Windows 2000 too.
6th - 22nd April
In England for Easter Holiday (and Maths Conference)
During the trip I found out that:
Dutch men hit you if you encroach on their leg room while you're asleep during the flight;
A cup of coffee in London is fifteen times as expensive as a cup of tea in Blackpool;
Kev Price has some hot gossip he still hasn't told me;
Nick Cripps was burgled while he was here in Thailand, but he still plans to return here before the end of the Year;
The Sahotas are playing a "one night only" gig in Kenya!
My Mom watches Neighbours !!!
Andy Shepherd has the poshest office in Bromsgrove;
Lion King (The West End show) is excellent;
Jas Sidhu has leant to turn the computer on;
Andy Quinton's getting a megga promotion ... he's paying next time ... and
The Weakest Link is a hit in the US.
Monday 23rd
Straight back to work. What an effort with post holiday blues and jet lag. Still as George used to say " ... you don't want to be tired in your own time". Did circuit training in the gym after school to keep me awake... v hot .... think we're having a mini heat wave.
Tuesday 24th
Trip to the World Scout Jamboree site to visit the 5th Pre-jamboree.
I haven’t worn my Scout uniform for four years and I’m certainly no slimmer than I was then. Having just about managed to do up all the buttons and zips we set off at 7:35 am for the Jamboree site. Myself, two Year 11 pupils Dennis and Yod and a Mother of a Year nine pupil whose father is the Deputy Chief Commissioner for Wales.
We stopped after two hours for a soft drink in the town of Sattahip then asked directions to the site which was 15km from here on the coast. The enthusiastic saluting by the security and Military police was most enthusiastic as we entered by one of four Jamboree gates. We were to meet our contact at checkpoint one. All very mysterious and thrilling.
We sat down in the shelter that was checkpoint one. This is the hot time of the year and the sun was exceptionally strong. The shelter was the International press meeting point and we were duly looked after by the two young female University students who were working on the International Service team here. We shortly received a message that our contact would be a late as she was a little busy with her other guest but we were welcome to have a walk round the site and invited to have lunch with the service team.
At around one thirty we were shown to the administration center where we first realised who this other guest was. It was the King of Sweden no less and we were invited to join his entourage for the official tour of the site. This was bizarre as suddenly we felt ourselves acting the part of royalty as we visited the various groups of Scouts doing their activities. We had our photographs taken, chatted to the other dignitaries (including the Chairman of the World Scout Committee), were interviewed for TV and received gifts.
Now the words pride, fall and the phrase "comes before" spring to mind as the afternoon drew to a close. I had become so used to following His Majesty wherever he went that I found myself following him into an air conditioned room adorned with ornaments and flower arrangements. Suddenly Karen and I noticed that the entourage was noticeable by it's absence as only the King and half a dozen of his closest aides were with us. Feeling a sudden surge of embarrassment Karen and I busied ourselves reading the inscriptions on some of the trophies around the room when a worried looking official hurried up to us and apologetically asked us to leave. We were in the King's private recuperation room where he would prepare himself for the address the closing ceremony and we hadn't realised that the 20 or so other royalish people were waiting outside.
Well I've never been thrown out of a Royal parlor before and I can't quite remember feeling that embarrassed either. Ah well, next time I go on a royal walkabout I'll double check that the rooms I follow His Majesty into don't have a "Gents" sign on the door!
Wednesday 25th
Yes we are having a heat wave. The air conditioning units at school can't cope, the roof top compressors are overheating and the technicians have set up sprinklers to keep them cool. I'm praying we don't get any power cuts.
Thursday 26th
"The King of Sweden, about one year ago, went into a computer store wanting to buy his son a computer for Christmas. He was going to pay for it with a credit card, (I don't know what kind of credit card it was) and the salesman asked him for some ID. His face being on almost every 1 Kr. (1 crown) coin in Sweden (his father is on some of the old ones), he took a coin out of his pocket and put it on the table saying that that was his ID. It seems that that was not good enough and he finally took out his real ID (I guess he was being smart). But then when he was walking out of the store with the computer the anti-shoplifter alarm went off."
Friday 27th
Saturday 28th
Sleepy day. After suppressing jet lag for a week (due to school), it hit me today big time. Spent most of the day in the land of nod.
If Yesterday's picture of the IT office isn't working, try clicking here
Sunday 29th
I'm so bloated... fuller than a very full person. I've just had the most decadent breakfast ever. It was the Jazzy Brunch at the Sheraton Grande, a suitably named grand place with an up-market Jazz trio accompaniment. As we started eating at about 12 noon I thought I'd start with something vaguely breakfasty (mixed omelet) then move on to a full blown Sunday Lunch. One of over thirty chef's on duty carved a succulent slice of lamb off a joint but as is the norm at these places, it was a trice rare for your typical Brit. No problem, another chef was on hand to flambé the cut in a brandy and peppercorn sauce. Scrumptious!
After each mini-meal I got up and browsed for another delight. While I was up, the traditionally dressed waitresses took my dirty plate away and topped up the crystal water glass. Why is it though that they always take your dirty knife and fork off the plate and leave it on the whiter than white tablecloth for you to use with your next course? Are they trying to save washing up? It seems strange that the posher places do it but the cheap places don't.
The choice of fancy deserts was enormous and I didn't hold back! The most unusual offering was a large sculpture of three elephants made from chocolate. Pouring out from one of the elephant's trunks was chocolate fondue and a selection of exotic fruits were ready skewered for dipping.
Monday 30th
It's a holiday tomorrow (Labour Day) so I'm off in search of a beach after school today. Who knows where I'll end up!
Diary:
