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August 2000 |
Sunday 20th
Fifteen minutes early arriving back in Thailand after a 12 hour flight in economy class ... what happened Jas?
BACK TO WORK
Weather here fairly damp, overcast but hot.
Monday 21st
Straight back into school to start work in a brave attempt to overcome jet lag on the first day. Full day at school followed by a spot of circuit training in the gym... much needed exercise after the summer break.
Tuesday 22nd
Not feeling too bad, getting lots done at school while there are not many people around. The place has been redecorated and looks quite good.
Wednesday 23rd
Finally jet lag kicks in and feeling pretty grotty today.
Checked out the latest "Big Brother" news on the web ... four up for eviction this week eh!
Thursday 24th
Yipee... GCSE results out today and we did very well... (well the pupils did anyway)
Friday 25th - Sunday 27th
Off the Chang Mai for the weekend, last bit of holiday before the new school year starts for real:
I've been to Chiang Mai before but this time saw:
Click on the picture to the left to see the full size elephant camp.. Street cleaning like you've never seen them cleaned before Umbrella making factory The Buddha is the fat one... ... a bit holiday snappy I know ... but what else are you supposed to put in a diary?
Monday 28th
Strange sights in school during the holidays:
Number 1. Legs on steps...
Heard from Simon Ash, musical director of our Firecrackers charity shows. He's working from home now and has a homepage too:
Tuesday 29th
Hello Sandy from Southampton. I've no idea who you are but heard today from a friend of a friend etc that you read this diary ... could you pass on a message to Diane for me?
Wednesday 30th
First day of school. Have three new pupils in my tutor group, one is the Finnish Ambassador's daughter. Received a few presents from returning pupils (from their holidays) including a kite from Japan. All the new staff seem impressed with the school and pupils. Fire alarm went off after we'd been in school only half an hour.
Thursday 31st
Talking of Sam Price, which I wasn't, I wonder how the girlies (Tipton Tarts) trip to Paris went.... no news except the following:
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:-
1. Take off clothing and place in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights & darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
3. Look at womanly physique in mirror and stick out gut so that you can complain & whine even more about how fat you're getting.
4. Get in shower, look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
5. Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo (with 83 added vitamins)
6. Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey Shampoo (with 83 added vitamins)
7. Condition hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner (enhanced with natural crocus oil) Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
8. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red raw
9. Wash entire body with Ginger Nut & Jaffa Cake body wash.
10.Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it all comes out).
11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area, but decide to get it waxed instead.
12. Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and you lose water pressure.
13. Turn off shower
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Tilex.
15. Get out of shower, dry with towel the size of a small African Country wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit and attack with nails/tweezers if found.
17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
18 . If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:-
1. Take off clothes while sitting on edge of bed and leave in pile on floor.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake manhood making the "WOO" sound.
3. Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you have pec (NO). Admire size in mirror, scratch "privates"
4. Get in shower.
5. Don't bother to look for any washcloth (you don't use them).
6. Wash Face
7. Wash armpits
9. Wash privates and surrounding area
10. Wash butt, leaving hair on the soap bar.
11. Shampoo hair (never use conditioner)
12. Make a shampoo mohawk.
13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in mirror
14. Pee (in shower)
15. Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor (because left curtain hanging out of tub)
16. Partially dry off
17. Look at yourself in mirror, flex muscles. Admire size again.
18. Leave shower curtain scrunched up (so it can not dry properly) and wet bath mat on floor.
19. Leave bathroom fan and light on
20. Return to bedroom and towel around waist. If you pass wife on the way, pull off towel and say "YEAH BABY" whilst thrusting pelvis at her.
Diary:
