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September 2000 |
Friday 1st
I always think of September as the "Back to School" month, but we've been back half a week already. Received an email from JP saying how relieved he is that the kids in Birmingham go back to school soon.
I also associate September with the beginning of the autumn, when the weather gets cooler and the nights draw in. Here in Thailand it is just the opposite, we are waiting for the rainy season to finish and the best months for weather to arrive. The roof here is leaking again, the landlord thinks he'll have to wait for the dry season before he can repair it properly. Meanwhile there's a bucket at the top of the stairs.
Saturday 2nd
It's been a good time for presents from pupils. Wine, a mug, a kite, a pen, sweets and a 1000 piece jigsaw. I haven't tried a jigsaw since I was about ten.
Well I spent hours doing the border but there's one piece I can't find. Don't suppose it'll ever get finished. Now I know why I haven't done one since I was ten.
Hello Charles, another BPS teacher who told me he's been learning Thai from the word list on this web site.
Sunday 3rd
Sowi sent the following:
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed. The question was: "What do women really want?"
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Since it was better than death, however, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first: the old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises. He had never run across such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden. Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question: What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own life. Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it went. The neighbouring monarch spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom. What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, belched and passed wind, and made everyone uncomfortable.The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she'd been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self.
Which would he want her to be during the day and which during the night?What a cruel question! Gawain began to think of his predicament: during the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friend, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments?
What would *you* do?
What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until you've made your own choice."The Answer"
Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.
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> What is the moral of this story?
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> The moral is that it doesn't matter if your woman is pretty or ugly, smart or dumb. Underneath it all, she's still a witch.Saw two films today, one at the cinema, the other on video. Firstly Perfect Storm was a film that had to be seen on the big screen. The huge waves just wouldn't have been as huge and the sound of the storm not quite so realistic. Not much of a storyline really but if you have ever been on a rough see (and I have), you'll get quite a fright from this film.
The second film was Prince of Egypt, a cartoon, but with some equally spectacular scenes, quite unusual for a cartoon. Really enjoyed both films.
Monday 4th
Back into the routine of using my multi-gym in the top room. I think I must have got my money's worth by now. Not a night to go out really, torrential rain, thunder and lightning. Two leeks in the roof which the landlord said will get repaired when the rainy season finishes :-(
Almost makes you want to stay in and do a jigsaw ... but no ... I did the border then lost all enthusiasm. The pieces keep sticking to the bottom of the coffee cups (and the whiskey glasses) I put on the coffee table.
Tuesday 5th
Just like every other year, we get new pupils join the school with the most unusual names. Today I met the boy who's name is Mud.... literally he is named Mud. Then there's the most unfortunate girl who's surname is Pants and of course we still have a Pooh and a Pong.
Wednesday 6th
Yesterday I showed the maid my telephone bill on which a 49 minute call she'd made to her friend's mobile phone had cost more than all the other calls on the bill put together .... she didn't turn up to work today ... woops. Dinner at a fancy French restaurant opposite Central Chitlom. Auberge Dab or something like that. Very nice but nouvelle cuisine, five courses costing the earth but leave you looking for McDonalds on the way home.
Jigsaw pieces safely back in their box.
Thursday 7th
I asked Sam how her and the six other girls (the Tipton Tarts) got on on their recent weekend in Paris. She kindly replied in French ... so I passed it through the Babel Fish site on the Internet and got the following translation:
Zut then! After two voyages towards France in two weeks I am now complete francophile! Lu for yourself this extract of the memories of the merry girls in Paris:
Paris 2000: The seven merry girls went except function to remain on the left bank in Paris. There were a good number of wine, a good number of juniper and a good number of rican! Pauvre Chris Jones had Z-reads with the pointed springs pushing through. It shared a room with Loz and Lyn. There was a good number of whirr from there during the night. Chris was not happy with this layout, and managed to obtain a room for a person, free, for the remainder of the weekend. The others four of us had to share two double rooms. It is a good work which we know each other good Our rooms to be slept were on the 6th stage of the hotel. The elevator stopped on the 4th floor. Towards the end of the weekend us all the thighs have let us like the rock. Chris J and M were guide of Barbies excursion. They supported their umberellas and did it number-out function to us regular with intervals.
Friday 8th
Nick (Crippsy not Nasty) is convinced Craig is going to win the £70 000 Big Brother prize. Who's your money on?
Saturday 9th
Morning working at home then lunch at the World Trade Centre. The Chinese restaurant ... Dim Sum .... interesting but hardly a hearty meal. Mai Pen Rai ... there are hawkers everywhere to top you up when you're hungry:
Rain put me off going out again later so I watched the Nick eviction programmes I'd recorded in the UK ... Can someone record the final programme for me when it is shown next week ... thanks.
Sunday 10th
Told you Mel would go at the first opportunity.............Craig's in the final 3...............he's a winner!!
NC
Monday 11th
The maid didn't turn up again today. No message just no-show.
Oh something really strange and funny happened at work today. I remember as I was told about it that it would make a great story for my diary. It would be the highpoint of an otherwise un-noteworthy day. So as I sit down here to type about it ... I've drawn a complete blank... I cannot for the life of me remember what amused me so much.
Tuesday 12th
Maid turned up but didn't do the ironing as the iron wasn't working.
Wednesday 13th
Sak beat me at squash, six games to four.
Thanks Shep for the huge satellite picture of Asia. Just had it mounted and now it proudly hangs on the gym wall (the nearest room in the house to satellites).
Thursday 14th
As I take a shower in the morning I listen to the world news on CNN. This morning it was all about the fuel crisis in the UK. What's happening? Then I receive an email from Brian with more doom and gloom:
the dome has just had the kiss of death, the Japanese bank who were buying it have jsut pulled out.
All the petrol stations in the uk are closed, Wolves have lost their last 2 games. we lost our cricket match against Sunny's team, but we drank more than them.
Are all the schools really closed tomorrow? Are the city centres at a standstill? What's the real news?
Then my morning brightens up. I have a new kid in my year 7 group. His name is Soup!
Friday 15th
Congratulations to Perumal in India, getting married today.
Maid asked me for a loan of 15 000 baht (£230) today. You must be joking!!
Well Simonfoley.com didn't make it at the end of the day. Though it burst onto the web with much publicity and hype, the diary just couldn't keep up.
In a poor attempt to lower the tone of this diary Simon has sent me the following picture:
Saturday 16th
And the winner is: Craig Phillips
The series, which has become the summer's great talking point, reached its nail-biting conclusion when Phillips, the chirpy bricklayer from Liverpool, carried off the £70,000 prize. The 28-year-old body-builder whooped for joy as the result was announced.So Nick was right .. did anyone record that last episode for us Big Brother fans at Patana (the teachers who went home for the summer).
Sunday 17th
What a beautiful day it has been today. After doing some marking (yeuch) on the top balcony I went out on a river trip up to Nonchaburi. All the usual river sights which I took photographs of ... but what is this? Anyone know?
Monday 18th
What does an email address say about a person? Matthew has just emailed me with his new address ....charlieboy2001uk@ .... and I could see from the distribution list that some of his friends have strange addresses too Apeboy, Oioisavaloy etc
We have a Maths teaching job currently advertised in the TES and the applications have started to come in. It is amusing to read a very serious, thoughtful, academic letters of application then see that the email address of the sender is gottawoppa@fastnet.com!
Here's an interesting page for Big Brother fans:
http://195.40.176.132/room101/
Tuesday 19th
Had dinner with Karen Bradburn, newly appointed Head of Mathematics at the small but growing St John's school here. She's been in the country only three weeks and is going through that steep learning curve that all new ex-pats go through when they first arrive. Really makes me feel like an old hand at this International living lark.
They say that when you first come here you go through a honeymoon period where everything is quaint, interesting or amusing. After a while those same things start to become annoying.
I hate the traffic here!!!!
Wednesday 20th
Shortlisted candidates for the extra Maths teaching job created here because of the rise in pupil numbers (1715 at the last count). Applicants range from those with doctorates and 20 years senior management experience to those who list being night shelf stockers at Woolworths before seeing the light and entering the teaching profession.
Thursday 21st
Sam has sent me an hilarious collection of airport announcements stored as sound files in a Word document. Unfortunately the JT diary censors wouldn't let me copy it to this page due to a couple of naughty words here and there... but if you email me I'll send you a copy!
Friday 22nd
This is the family bit, the rest of you don't need to read it ... I found out you can blow up photographs to huge sizes quite cheaply here so I've had the family portrait enlarged and framed. It now proudly hangs on the front room wall watching the TV. Click the small picture below to see it in it's surroundings. Jamie's hiding behind Mom.
Everybody else can start reading again here: Today we had an emergency assembly to warn our older students about the dangers of Bangkok nightlife. Apparently last weekend a number of our students had their drinks spiked with a drug which knocks you out and leaves you with a feeling of amnesia. This wasn't in the go-go bar area of town but in a cinema!
New pictures of The Sahotas in India
Saturday 23rd
As well as this web site I also look after a Maths site and The Sahotas' site. Consequently I get the occasional strange email. This morning I got three emails from people I don't know.
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am studying Resistant Materials at GCSE level. For my major project I am going to make a Ludo board out of wood. For my research I need pictures of Ludo boards.
If possible could you please send me pictures or a magazine of Ludo boards made from any material at the below address.
Thank You
Dear professor,
I am a student at Sacret Heart High School, San Francisco. Recently, I am compiling some competition problems as well as their problems for the school's math team. But I came across an "easy" problem which is hard to solve. Could you give me some hints about how to tackling the problem?
Problem
Let a_1, a_2, .., a_2000 be real numbers in the
interval [0,1]. Find the maximum possible value of
The Summation of (j-i)|a_j - a_i| such that
1<=i<=j<=2000.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Gabriel
Dear SAHOTAS,
i like ur music and songs very much from my heart. Do u know what when i heard the sing of yours which was has ho gaya , i started cryin' for it and after searching the whole market of music i didn't find your cassette . I was feeling very sad and get back to home later. Then 1 day a friend of mine told me that he heard the same song and saw it on the t.v. and he told me that the cassette of yours is releasing soon and when i got your cassette available in the market then i pick up the bunch of it it means it is round about 50 to 100 cassettes and gifted them to my most of the friends and i got the 1st kiss from my babe ( girl friend ) because of it i mean the cassette do u know why b'coz. she loves it too . I like your all the song like has ho gaya,teri meri gal ban gayi,Desi,yaran di yaari,mandi tu na mandi,and lots more . Plz go on like this and i wanna be there with u and would like to join your group . Please.
Sunday 24th
Suffering from a touch of the disease of kings and the nobility so I've been researching gout on the internet. Now I'm drinking water by the litre, avoiding wine and beer and resisting the temptation to eat as much meat as I have been doing during the last month. I read that cherry juice is also good but can't find any here.
With the gout and rain as soon as I got up I've decided to stay in and update the school Maths web site. What do you think?
Monday 25th
A huge swarm of bees held a peaceful rally in the tree outside my office at school. The maids couldn't make up their mind whether it was good or bad luck. The dark patch in the middle of this picture is the swarm all holding hands and hanging from a branch. The bees at the top were the strongest supporting all the other bees hanging below. I think they had gloves on.
Tuesday 26th
Just when I thought I was not a spectator sports sort of person, I saw the Olympics Women's Beach Volleyball on the TV. Since when has that been in the Olympics? I was still watching it half an hour later..... Brazil v Australia ... They even had the crowd doing Mexican waves to ballet music.
Nick sent me an email saying not to believe all that I'd read about watching your diet. He has had gout too and says it has nothing to do with what you eat and drink. So with that advice I'm off to eat Mexican this evening .... Marguerite and all!
Quite a Mexican sort of day really.
Thursday 28th and Friday 29th
Offline due to virus
Saturday 30th
I'm back after a short break in transmission. All because of a virus!!
Now I am the first to warn people not to open attachments to emails even if you know who there from.... but three days ago I received an email from Khun Payap, the travel agent used by most of the teachers. He is booking my half term flight to China and I was expecting an email from him. His email was followed by a second, from the same address, with nothing in the subject or body, just an attachment HANSON.SCR.
Now I sad also enquired about hotels in Beijing (Peking) so I thought this was about a Hanson Hotel! I clicked on it and.. well the rest is history. After that point there was no turning back. I was infected with "WS32 Apology".
It was a virus, a worm and a backdoor program. Every two minutes it would try to dial my internet connection so that it could download other viruses onto my computer. If I had sent an email to anyone at that time it would have sent them a duplicate email with the virus attached. This visus was only discovered about a month ago so the virus checking software was useless against it. After trying many strategies I finally cleaned this computer by running a program from floppy disc while the computer was in MS-DOS mode. After 29 hours and 27 minutes it reported that my computer was clean.
I'm now up and running again though I have lost a number of files in the cleaning process.
The Storal of the Mory is:
Don't open attachments unless you are 100% sure
That's all for this month.
Diary:
