Monday 1st

Rachel, Jane and I arrived at the new pavement restaurant on Soi La Salle only to find that it was full. So on the spur of the moment we decided to jump into a taxi and head for the City. What was intended to be a cheap night out (dinner fo 50p) turned into a full evenings programme of events:

• Dinner at "Lemon Grass". A very nice restaurant serving top notch Thai food in which we only just managed to get a table for three (why is everywhere so busy on a Monday night?);

• Drinks at the "Lonestar Bar", setting for a Christopher Moore novel about international arms dealing (or drugs or sex or something like that);

• Front row seats at the "Mambo Cabaret". A typical Thai big production including Katoeys who looked more like the real thing than the real things do. Trouble with being on the front row is that we became the focus of attention and the but of the jokes. Nevertheless a good entertaining experience!

Tuesday 2nd

Tim and Nick have been creating an Intranet at school; though both claim that the other is the brains behind it! I've pinched the Rubik's Cube below from the "Fun Stuff" section. It'll keep you busy on this uneventful second day of the second month on which nothing out of the ordinary has happened ..yet... although it is only 5:20pm!

Twist or rotate by pointing and dragging parts of the cube. Press s to scramble and r to restore (while positioning the mouse cursor somewhere in the picture).

Wednesday 3rd

Geese are kept at the School as a deterrent against snakes. They roam around the school grounds at night and alert the estate department of any snakes lurking in the vicinity!

Discovered yet another live music venue. Went to the little used (by farangs) Imperial shopping centre to do some shopping. Had only managed to purchase one item (three pairs of underpants for 95 baht) when I was lured by the sound of Thai music to a small bar in the basement. It was only 7:30pm so I was quite pleased to have discovered the place as normally these places don’t even open till 9:30ish.

Saw two bands, ate one meal and had a little liquid refreshment before setting off home (via Lamb Kong).

Thursday 4th

Discovered yet another live music venue! This one was opposite Satowtowmau on Sukhumvit. Medium sized, same décor as Lamb Kong, good band (even attempted Hotel California for the Farang) and reasonable food. Friendly staff, mediocre massage but good atmosphere.

There was one feature of this new place (called Wonii-Pok) which gives it a five star rating. A feature which, though very simple, gives it the edge on the 34 other Thai music clubs around this area. A feature which will bring us back for more….. Each and every table had a tambourine. Yes that’s right, a simple tambourine. What a brilliant idea. As more and more beer/Sangthip was consumed, the percussion accompaniment to the band increased. What a great feeling, we all became part of the band!

Ancient Chinese proverb: Vigorous tambouline praying leads to prainful bluising.

Friday 5th

Saturday 6th

I spent a month on a bus today! Travelling from here to the opposite side of the city on a Saturday afternoon takes you through the some of the notorious Bangkok traffic. I wonder if the M6 between Birmingham and Wolverhampton is still as bad on a Friday afternoon.

Zita is learning to cook Thai food and practised on some of us this evening. Very good.... Some of the school Thai staff took us on to the Blue Music Hall afterwards. Even on a Saturday night, this place is so huge that it seems empty. Great sound and lighting though.

Sunday 7th

Decided I needed to learn to read Thai. Simon says Louis learned five letters every day.. I'll give it a try starting tomorrow...

Monday 8th

Telephone line dead.. no dial tone ... so you won't be able to read what I'm typing today.

Finished off the day at The lamb Kong Club and took some digital photos of the Gatang Band:

Learned five Thai letters today.

Tuesday 9th

School trip to Sikh Temple in China town... what an multicultural mix!

Wednesday 10th

Mike told me something really funny today to put in this diary.. can't remember for the life of me what it was but it was very funny. Take my word for it and have a little chuckle to yourself because it really was very funny. We were given VIP cards for the WoniiPok Club... 20% off!

Thursday 11th

Heard from Shep by email. He's coming to visit at the end of this month.

Still learning five Thai letters a day.

Packing for Chiang Mai trip... early night... z z z z z z z z z z z

Friday 12th till Tuesday 16th

Half Term: Second trip to Chiang Mai No I didn't go to see this show. The mind boggles!

Wednesday 17th

Staff Inservice training day.

Thursday 18th

Four of us visited the "Tambourine Bar". Neil got told off for bashing the tambourine on the table during a particularly exciting song!

Friday 19th

Another teacher developing a web site for his family and friends back home. Simon is the only true Brummie on the staff. Just wating for Rupert to get his holiday snaps up on the Internet. Watch this space... (Mike will be next.... mark my word!)

Saturday 20th

Spent most of the day sorting out bills, answering letters and doing odd bits of school work. The sort of stuff that makes you say "where did the day go!" or "Just what did I do today?".

Received a newspaper cutting from Mom. It was taken from the Express and Star, Wolverhampton's local evening paper. This is the standard of the news they receive from Thailand:

"Police say they are going to charge leading Thai actress and singer Saitharn Niyomkarn with assault after an all-girl gang attack on a bar owner who failed to put lemon in her tea"

I know exactly how she feels. If there are any bar owners reading this just watch out. My all-girl gang get really mean when there's no lemon in my tea too!

Sunday 21st

A couple of weeks ago we were teaching Yr. 7 pupils techniques of speed reading. I wish I was better at it myself . I've just spent five hours solid reading through 33 applications for two Maths teaching jobs here next year. I need to short-list five or six by tomorrow. I've narrowed it down to 15 so far. Think I'll have another crack at it this evening. ......Yr 7 and 8 reports to write too... yeuch... still we get long summer holidays don't we?

Monday 22nd

"Keng’s last girlfriend was a Kat-oi (lady boy). He had come to stay with her/he at Gordon and Lek’s house in Bangkok. They had arrived after Gordon had gone to bed drunk the night before. I quote direct although you have got to read in a Geordie accent to get the full effect. "Ai like so I goes doon stairs in the mooring and sees this ooglee Kat-ooo lying on me flour like, scratched me heed and thougt to me self - I knew I was pissed last neet, but I divvent rember bring that heem with us".

...and that's just an example from Simon's Thai holiday stories. I've just been reading his new homepage... hilarious!

Tuesday 23rd

More evidence that Sam Price doesn't have enough to do at work all day. She's just emailed me these messages from pupils parents to their teachers:

Ever seen any of these excuses for missing school? My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words were crossed out in the ( )'s] Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Wednesday 24th

Shep Arrives from UK. Visiting for a week

Yes! I'm here and taking over the diary - it saves money on postcards! I was totally distraught at leaving snow and gales behind at home to arrive to 33o Centigrade of sunshine. The temperature does plummet at night though - to around 25o Centigrade!

I carefully nurtured a bottle of 15 years single malt whisky for John on the journey over - the best that Heathrow's Duty Free can offer - only to drop it on the kitchen floor as I was getting it out of my bag. The kitchen now smells like a distillery! I would blame the heat/jet-lag/missing a nights sleep/etc. However, it could have more to do with Thai Airlines hospitality - I can recommend them.

First night and John took me to the World Biggest Restaurant (according to the Guiness Book of Records) - I have always enjoyed eating out-of-doors, but this was something else. We then went on to see a live Thai band that John knows. (This man has been here just five months yet seems to know half the population of Bangkok!).

It is a public holiday next Monday (don't know why) and John is trying to organise a trip into the countryside so that I can see more of rural Thailand.

Thursday 25th

I thought that jet-lag would affect me, but I woke at 11.30am - normal time for me. I caught a taxi into the City Centre. They are so cheap, there is no need to have a car here. Besides, to drive in Bangkok would take an incredible amount of courage - Personally I'd would prefer to stand in the middle of the Molineux and shout up the Baggies. (Apologies to none Midlanders who are reading this and may not understand).

The city brought back a lot of memories - I was here on a stop-over some nine years ago and I never really got the chance to explore. I remember seeing the largest cockroach then, in my hotel bathroom. Today I saw the largest rat sniffing around a foodstall. In fact, I think it may have been the cockroach in disguise!

In fairness, this is an incredibly crowded and busy city - and yet I have not seen a piece of litter in the street. Why does litter always seem to be a British thing? (Oops! Getting serious!)

Met John outside the World Trade Centre this evening to go on a Tu-Tu (John ... what's it's called?) to see another live band - this time jazz and blues. Sat at a table on a balcony looking down on the heads of the band !!! John has also been teaching me some basic Thai words. I can know order a beer (in fact up to ten!) and ask where the loo is, amongst other useful phrases

As this holiday was a last minute booking, I only arranged vaccinations last week. Friends who saw me last weekend will vouch that I was walking around rather uncomfortably, having had four vaccinations (one in each limb! Thank heavens I'm not an octopus.) The last thing that the nurse said to me was that I wouldn't need malaria tablets ... unless I was going nearer the Cambodia border.

Friday 26th

John is still trying hard to arrange a special weekend away ... near the Cambodia border. Do you think I've overstayed my welcome?

He has also learnt the Thai language which is not only useful to myself but is very reassuring when out and about discovering Bangkok. That was until we were in a bar last night. The manager came over and said 'You are two men' ... according to John's translation! A couple of minutes after answering 'Yes!' John realised that the manager had actually said 'You want two men'. The look of realisation on his face said it all.

I was taken on a tour of the school this morning. I remember my schooldays when we had a small goldfish pond outside. This one has a goldfish lake with buildings on stilts above it! And the swimming pool is the size of Wales.

Afterwards I went shopping at the local Mall, six storeys high. On the top storey is a complete funfair and theme park whilst on the roof is a water fun-park and a go-kart track.

I bought a couple of silk shirts which left me with a dilemma. If I wore them here, I would look like a typical tourist - and if I wore them in the UK, it would confirm to everyone that I have no dress-sense whatsoever.

I also withdrew some money form a cashpoint machine. John tells that today has been the busiest day for cashpoint machines in Thailand ever. So my place in history has been secured.

Tonight a group of us went to see Thailand's national sport - Kickboxing - in the premier kickboxing stadium, which was more like a giant chicken shed made from corrugated iron sheets. The party included Martin from the school and Nicky who was staying next door on a stop-over from Oman to Beijing. As Nicky has been stuck on a oilrig in the Gulf for the last 28 days, we promised to look after him. I've never been to a boxing match at home (and don't want to) but wouldn't have missed it here - the action, arms flailing, heads ducking and diving, the grunting, the groaning - and that was just the audience. It was exciting to watch the matches, through the chicken wire! After seeing some poor kid being stretchered off we piled into a Toot-Toot (What IS it called?). You can see from the picture, it's a kind of motor-bike taxi. Usually the driver sits in the front and the passenger in the back. However, with four of us, John joined the driver up front (sitting on the battery) and the other three piled into the back. Everytime it accelerated, the front went up and did a short wheelie!

We found ourselves at Radio City Bar - very popular with Brits over here - to hear the band which was dressed in a sort of 'Herb Albert and the Tiuajna Brass' style, complete with frilly shirts - and a couple of guys who do brilliant impersonations of Elvis and Tom Jones. They have to be heard to be believed, honest! Halfway through the evening, we found ourselves live on Bangkok Radio who heard I was in town and decided to do a live broadcast from the bar.

I finally got a neck massage, whilst visiting the loo (See January 29 for details). I had been told that it was the norm at most bars and restaurants but had been disappointed so far.

After a meal in a small nearby restaurant, we arrived home late - having lost Nicky somewhere! If anyone finds a lost oil-rig man in Bangkok, please return him! He's a nice guy.

Saturday 27th - Monday 1st March

John has finally arranged air-tickets for the trip to Ubon Ratchathani in the South East corner of Thailand nearer the Cambodian border. After waking late (still jet-lagged I'm afraid). After a short flight we really didn't know what to expect and went prepared for anything. We found a cheap luxury  hotel in the town, it had only been open a month so we had a special "introductory" price. Excellent modern rooms with the unusual feature of an open window between the bathroom and the bedroom!

Saturday evening was spent at a great bar with an excellent live band. John has a good sense for finding this type of thing!

The presence of 'Farangs' (foreigners) created a stir with a special mention on stage and strangers coming up to welcome us. (For all I know, they could have been insulting us, or giving me the latest football scores, but John assured me otherwise). Everyone in the town was so nice - I think.

On Sunday we decided to visit the small tourist office which was full of pretty pictures of various places in the Region, but no info about them or how to get there and no staff who could speak English.

We walked around town visiting shops, a temple and monastery. We bought a Thailand flag, some Thai birthday cards and some doors signs in Thai script - such as 'Welcome', 'No smoking' and 'Please leave all weapons, guns and hand-grenades outside'.

We then found a small restaurant by the river side. The shacks on the edge of the river and fishermen in small boats paddling by occasionally were unbelievable.

A short walk along the river edge led us to a guy who offered us a trip up the river in his boat - one of those long thin boats typical of the region. The wood was rotten and there was more water in the boat than outside - but what the heck!

Then we visited the local Sunday market which sold all types of food and livestock. The thing is that at most stalls they were the same - fish killed to order, crickets, cockroaches, frogs and maggots. At least you knew that everything that you bought was fresh - it would still be wriggling when you got it home.

A typical Sunday then really - lunch by the river, a trip along the water and then visit the shops to stock up on frogs for the week. Oh! And a tip when you're in Sainsbury's next ... buy your live lizards in bunches - they're cheaper!

Monday was a public holiday. The last time I was here it was a public holiday. Do they do that for all visitors here?

 

January | March