Return to Thailand:

Saturday 2nd January 1345hrs Flight EK02 to Dubai arriving at 0030hrs on 3rd January.
Sunday 3rd January 0315 Flight EK82 from Dubai arriving in Bangkok at 1205hrs

Monday 4th

First day back at school and considering I'd been travelling for 15 hours across six time zones I think I coped reasonably well. The weather here is excellent at the moment being the cooler time of year. It's only 29º C so saving a bit of money on air conditioning.

Conversations at school today all began with "Sawatde Bee Mai (Happy New Year).. how was your Christmas?". None of the Yuletide tales however matched up to the following:

"A NINE-year-old girl got exactly what she wanted for Christmas - after sneaking an early look at her presents, taking them back to the shop and swapping them.

It seemed that posting a letter to Santa Claus was just a little too old-fashioned for Lauren Hawcroft. And the risk of being disappointed was just a bit too nerve-wracking. Instead, the girl adopted the adage: if you want something done, do it yourself.

Her mother, Mandy, watched in amazement as Lauren unwrapped the Spice Girls video and CD she had bought her, only to pull out a video of the Oscar-winning film Titanic and Robbie Williams's latest album, I've Been Expecting You."

Tuesday 5th

Went to see the band last night at the club at the end of the road. The lead singer has a new toy... a radio mike! He came and joined me at my table for a drink ... while he was singing a heavy metal type song ... spooky.

 

Wednesday 6th

Feeling hungry?

 

Thursday  7th

Sad to report that Claire returned to the UK this evening. First member of the cohort of new teachers (30 something of us) from last September to have left. Beer and pizza at her house then who knows if we'll ever meet again? ... but she said she'd be reading this when she got home so hi! or Sawatdekap.. and Choke De (good luck)

Friday 8th - Sunday 10th

The plan was to pack a ruksac and jump on the first bus going out of town regardless of where it was heading. I did and ended up at Jontiem, south of Pattaya on the coast. Got burned as usual but managed to finish reading "The beach" a few bays before filming starts on the film of the same name. The newspapers rerport that Leonardo  is already in the country aclimatising at a beach resort somewhere.

It's a good story! Here's my copy and the beach I finished reading it on.

Monday 11th

I'm not the only one to be amused at the dishes available at the restaurants around here.. the following is from the newspaper:

Bangkok's gourmets really don't know how spoiled they are with the marvellous food available to them. The following sample of mouth-watering dishes comes from a Suriwong Road establishment that clearly caters for everybody's taste.

Let's start with the soups, where we have a rather doubtful choice between Bean curds with internal organs or Dried vegettable with pickeled plumps. If you survive this, a recommended dish is Steahed fish with perhaps side plates of Corn tried and All sides vegetable fried.

Many people like to eat in relative peace and presumably with this in mind the restaurant has very conscientiously come up with Vegatables with hushrooms. The clergy are not forgotten either judging from the Chicken, frog and holy basil. Rumours that the Morning glory with snail oil is some kind of Oriental aphrodisiac could not be verified. Just to round off that delightful repast the menu concludes with the salutation Thank you yerymuch.

And "Thank you yerymuch" to the restaurant on Sukhumvit where I enjoyed a very tasty Legg of lamp !!!

Tuesday 12th

Got an email from Clare (see last Thursday)

I have arrived safely in England and yes it is freezing

Please say hi to everyone and I hope that they are well. I am currently working at a school in Brentwood which is really nice and fun. Teaching Science. I am not able to email anyone as I cant open my Yahoo.
Had better go now
look after you
Clarey

Yes I know what it's like when you can't open your Yahoo!!!

Wednesday 13th

It’s happening to me at last. I’m forgetting my native language. When I hopped off the motor cycle taxi which bought me home from school today, I asked "Tow rai?" (How much?). Through his helmet visor the driver told me "five". As I was expecting a Thai word I didn’t understand so asked him to repeat. Again he uttered "five"; "What?" I said. "Ha" said he. Ah now I understand… he means five.

It comes to something when I can understand Ha, the Thai for five, better than my own language.

I willingly dug into my pocket to produce the required 5 baht (8p).

Thursday 14th

Of the six people who were taking Thai lessons with Khun Jip, only Rachel and I are still there. With only two people the lessons are far more intense without a second to rest. Must be good for us though.

I've said before that there are many large live music venues around this area of Bangkok. Excellent for an evening out because there is no admission charge and they serve food and beer at very reasonable places. Not only are there many of them already but another opened this week. I think we were the first farang (foreigners) so were given lots of attention by the staff and FREE beer. Not sure how long we stayed there but we saw four bands come on to the stage, play for and hour or so then leave.

Friday 15th

When I exclaimed that my multi colour pen had run out and I needed to get a new one I was inundated with offers from my Year 7 class. Thanks to Virginie who replaced my favourite pen with a similar one for 5 baht (8p). Lucky she didn't get me one of the pencils bearing an anti-drug message. The pencils carry the slogan: "Too Cool to Do Drugs". Another sharp-eyed pupil noticed when the pencils are sharpened, the message turns into "Cool to Do Drugs" then simply "Do Drugs"!

Saturday 16th

Just can't help bumping into people at the supermarket checkout.... what a desperate way to meet people!

Sunday 17th

On tour .. with the band .. around Ayuthaya, the ancient city:

Click here for the pictures:

Then back to support Mike defending his title of top leauge goal scorer as the school staff team goes back into action against a Thai team (half their age and height!)

Monday 18th

Balloons, beer and birthday songs (Thai style) as Heather took us to dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe, Bangkok. Even the kitchen staff joined the throng of waiters and customers bashing pots and pans as the giant birthday cake made it's entrance. (The pepper steak was "Aroy Maa!")

Tuesday 19th

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?"

Wednesday 20th

This is not the only place to find out the unoffical view of what's going on around here. Check out these sites:

John and Claire's Page , School Staff Football team

Thursday 21st

Rachel and I took our Thai teacher out for dinner this evening. The idea was to have the lesson in the restaurant so that we could learn lots of useful Thai for ordering food. That's about it really.. pretty boring but couldn't think of anything else to write. Nothing really out of the ordinary happened apart from the elephants poking their heads in to the restaurant near our table looking for things to eat... but we always had that problem in Birmingham too!... (not).

Friday 22nd

Now I've said it before but I'll say it again... people say of Samantha Price, who works for Walsall Council, "Why doesn't Sam look out of the Window in the morning?.... Because she'd have nothing to do in the afternoon!". Of course it's not true, she has plenty to do... like send me the following about the prison she works in:

PRISON IN PRISON you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle IN PRISON you get three meals a day. AT WORK you only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it IN PRISON you get time off for good behaviour. AT WORK you get rewarded for good behaviour with more work IN PRISON a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself IN PRISON you can watch TV and play games. AT WORK you get fired for watching TV and playing games IN PRISON you get your own toilet AT WORK you have to share IN PRISON they allow your family and friends to visit AT WORK you cannot even speak to your family and friends IN PRISON all expenses are paid by tax-payers with no work required. AT WORK you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. IN PRISON you spend most of your life looking through bars inside wanting to get out AT WORK you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars IN PRISON there are wardens who are often sadistic. AT WORK they are called Managers.

Incidently, Sam is from the almost very famous (but already very good) band; "Souled As Seen".

 

Saturday 23rd

Happy New Year...This must surely be the latest New year's Eve party...

When Rachel and Claire discovered that the Shangri La hotel had lost their reservation for this past New Year's Eve a strongly worded letter was soon on its way to the manager. As a result twelve of us were offered a free meal this evening!...Yes Free ... he he he he he he

<<<Click for pictures of the evening

Sunday 24th

"TV equipment meant for instructional use may be confiscated from some of Thailand's schools because teachers are using it to watch soap operas in class, an Education Ministry official said today.
A survey of more than 12,000 schools nationwide found that 913 were using the equipment inappropriately."

Monday 25th

There are so many stray dogs around this area but you never see dog mess; why?

Tuesday 26th

Staff take it in turns to bring in biscuits and cakes to go with coffee at break time. My contributions have become known as Tranter's Treats.

This week I spotted deep fried insects being sold by a roadside vendor and decided that they would make the perfect treats. Click here to see the results:

Tip for the day: "Don't kiss anyone who's just been eating dung beatles"

Wednesday 27th

Geri has lent me the book "The Damage Done" by Warren Fellows. It tells the true story of an Australian convicted in Thailand in 1978 of heroin trafficking. As a result he was sentenced to life imprisonment in the notorious Bang Kwang men's prison - better known as the Bangkok Hilton.

I got in from work planning to do some school work then visit the gym. Instead I have just read the first six chapters of this book. Can't believe I'm living so close to the scene of this horrific tale. I'll let you know more when I've finished the book... need to go out now though for refreshment and a bit of light relief... Mer mong far....

Thursday 28th

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Friday 29th

Assembly... taught 600 people to count in Japanese in 2 minutes 15 seconds. They don't pay me enough!

Wow I've finished that book, the one about the Bangkok prison. Must be a record for me, a whole book in two sittings. Just as well as there is now a waiting list of staff who want to borrow it.

Saw a very famous Thai group perform this evening at one of our local music venues. Can't remember  what they are called but they sing that "why, why, why" song. Got a great table amongst all the VIP guests. Mike managed to get massaged by four guys simultaneously in the toilet while taking a pea. That sounds horrific but it is quite the norm here. Everyone gets it ... and it's all above board.

I've just read the last paragraph and it sounds really scandleous, tabloid headlines back in the UK.... but it's the accepted thing here... you have to be here to see it in all its innocence.

Saturday 30th

What's going on? It's raining and we have a power cut! I thought this was the dry season!

Sunday 31st

The following letters are taken from an actual incident between the (very expensive) Westin Hotel in Chiang Mai (where Elizabeth Taylor spends her time between marriages) and one of it's guests. The Hotel ended up submitting the letters to the Chiangmai Gazette.


Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove
the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest
and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman


Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday,
from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish
as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and
put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your
mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my
instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope
this is satisfactory.
Kathy,
Relief Maid


Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning
the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I
found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine
cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have
brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays
which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing
teeth, etc. Please remove them.
S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps
which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which
were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your
Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience.
I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed
inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you
did not object to when you checked in last Monday.

Please let me know if I can of further assistance.
Your regular maid,
Pawn


Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning
that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your
maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will
accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future
complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention.
Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.Thank you.
Nok Pittayul
Housekeeper


Dear Miss Pittayul,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel
for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's
the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off
duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those
little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought
I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel
soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars
on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24
little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?
S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to
your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further
assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.Thank you,
Nok Pittayul,
Housekeeper


Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my
room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and
had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem.
I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids
are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room.
The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my
apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager


Dear Mrs. Pittayul,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in
last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little
bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you
realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size
Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.
S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed.
Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so
I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the
3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything
about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not
know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the
3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues
bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left
in your room.
Nok Pittayul
Housekeeper


Dear Mrs. Pittayul,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory.
As of today I possess:

On the shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1
stack of 2.

On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.


On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4
hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.

Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of
2.

In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.

On the northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.

On the northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are
neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more
than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window
sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap
deliveries.

One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I
am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further
misunderstandings.
S. Berman

 

 

 

 

DECEMBER | FEBRUARY