Wednesday 1st

After being here less than 24 hours, Jas and company have drunk my house dry ... well I'm out of beer, white wine and Bailey's any how... and I thought I'd stocked up well!

Thursday 2nd

Jas and Pete have left for four days in Vietnam, Brian and Jean were last seen heading for the bus station, destination written in Thai on a little piece of paper, bound for the beach at Hua Hin.

Friday 3rd - Sunday 5th

I decided to hire a car, drive down to Hua Hin, surprise Brian and Jean and take then to my favourite little French restaurant.

The weekend turned into quite an adventure but I'm too lazy to write about it now ... but ask me the story of the monkeys and the snake when you see me.

Monday 6th

Jas and Pete got back from Vietnam last night ... full day at school... I'm shattered!!!

Tuesday 7th

Dinner at Vientianne Kitchen Laos restaurant. Click here to see Jean in action.

Wednesday 8th

The governor of Bangkok has asked 300 temples in the Thai capital if they're interested in moonlighting as dog kennels in a desperate bid to get stray dogs off the city's street. The average Bangkok mutt is more likely to be considered an eyesore, a traffic hazard, and a potential rabies incubator than man’s best friend. City authorities have allocated 4 million baht to sterilise stray dogs, but no-one has figured out what to do with the creatures once their reproductive urges are stemmed. Animal welfare groups claim it will take a decade for sterilisation programmes to have a visible effect, hence the guv's plea for temples to house the mutts until nature takes its course.

 Thursday 9th

Parents evening at school so the visitors do their own thing in Bangkok

Friday 10th

Jean and Brian found the local Thai venues a little loud on Wednesday evening so the plan to go to a Thai Disco tonight has been shelved. Table booked for 9pm at Planet Hollywood instead.

Jas has now become completely nocturnal.

Saturday 11th

Morning: Took the group to Chatuchak weekend market.

Afternoon: Catching up with lost sleep

Early Evening: Loy Kratong

Late Evening: Jas and Pete did their cultural bit by taking us all to the best Indian restaurant in town (Tycoon). Great evening of good food, plenty of drink and Bhangra dancing (by us)

Even later evening: They went off to see Patpong, I staggered off home to bed

Sunday 12th

8am - 10:30am ..Staggered breakfast

11am the suits which the visitors have had made arrive

11:30 Minibus arrives to take the group to The Dusit Resort in Pattaya for three days

11:35 Minibus pulls up outside school, driver pretends to check the tyres. Sak and I jump on board... Surprise!!! we're coming to Pattaya too.

1:15pm First drinks at the pool bar in the Dusit Resort

7pm Sak and I catch bus back from Pattaya as we've got work tomorrow

11pm .... shattered again

Monday 13th

Ah back to school ... time to recover!

Tuesday 14th

Final evening in Thailand for Jas, Pete, Jean and Brian. Happy hour on the roof followed by a traditional Thai Bon-Voyage meal.

Wednesday 15th

I received an email from Hilary whom I've not seen since we were in Korea together for the World Scout Jamboree in 198something.

....I have been asked to help write the Join In Jamboree booklet for the forthcoming Jamboree in Thailand and I wondered if you would be able to offer any help/advice.  The booklet is supposed to contain material for all sections, beavers, cubs, scouts and ventures, and should contain information, games, crafts etc relevant to the country hosting the Jamboree.

... so I'm now keeping an eye open for any Thai things that would make good items for this book. First thoughts were Loy Kratong and Songkran and maybe this:

ANYWAY People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered, Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives, Do good anyway. If you are successful you win false friends and true enemies, Succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow, Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable, Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight, Build anyway. People really need help but may attack you if you help them, Help people anyway. Give the world the best you have and you will get kicked in the teeth, Give the world the best you have got ANYWAY

I picked this up when we were at Chatuchack weekend market, it was on a free postcard. A picture of a hilltribe woman superimposed with the above. A Thai boy at school thinks it is a translation of an old Thai saying/poem.

Thursday 16th

That same Thai boy (see above) informed me today that one of the stranger Thai laws which still exists is that it is illegal to go outdoors without wearing underwear!

Friday 17th

Thanks to Richard and Shep who both independently sent me the following.

To the Citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on  your behalf. 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through. 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005. 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day". 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. Thank you for your cooperation.

Saturday 18th

So I settled down to watch "The Blair Witch" project which I have just bought on VCD. It all looked good to start with... the titles were good quality ... then the characters spoke... dubbed in Thai.

Must be more careful reading the small print before I buy these things in future.

Sunday 19th

It's 4:30pm and the whole day up till this point has been spent marking pupil's coursework. Yeuch!

Monday 20th

Found the Tranter coat of arms. What do I do with it?

Tuesday 21st

As we approached the Japanese Restaurant in Central Plaza, Bangna, we noticed people waiting outside. It was full. Japanese food is very popular here in Thailand. Soon however the welcoming person at the door said that there was a table free or seats at the bar. We followed her to the table. On the way in we must have passed about twenty waiters and waitresses busy serving. Each of them, as they had been trained, turned to us as we passed and bid us "Sawasde ka", the traditional Thai welcome.

"Sawasde ka","Sawasde ka","Sawasde kap","Sawasde ka","Sawasde ka","Sawasde kap","Sawasde ka","Sawasde ka", etc

As we approached the table I indicated that seats at the bar might be more fun as we could watch the food being prepared. The waitress obediently lead us back towards the bar which was near the door we'd come in by. These same twenty waiters and waitresses still busy serving turned towards us and chanted "Kap kun kap" (thankyou) as they have been trained to do when anyone leaves. The strange thing was that we'd not yet eated nor paid any money but still...

"Kap kun kap", "Kap kun ka", "Kap kun ka", "Kap kun kap", "Kap kun kap", "Kap kun kap", "Kap kun ka", "Kap kun kap" etc

On approaching the bar we were disappointed in noticing that there was only one empty stool so the waitress took us back to the original table. Back past the twenty waiters and waitresses:

"Sawasde ka","Sawasde ka","Sawasde kap","Sawasde ka","Sawasde ka","Sawasde kap","Sawasde ka","Sawasde ka", etc

Wednesday 22nd

It's got so cool here now that I slept without the air conditioning on and the window open for the first time. Got a bit noisy this morning when the early birds started going to work though.

Thursday 23rd

I

Friday 24th

Last day at school for a while. Apart from years 11 and 13, the whole school are out on residentials next week.

Saturday 25th

Bought myself another addition to the collection of remote controls on the coffee table. It was an impulse buy really. I now have a combined VCD/CD/MP3 player and it was only £60. What a bargain.

Sunday 26th - Thursday 30th

Off on our school residential trip to the north of Thailand this afternoon. I'll be traveling for 14 hours on an overnight sleeper train with 120 14 year olds and 14 other teachers. Aaaaaghh !!!!!

Residential trip for Year 9 to Chang Dao