Q. What did the mathematical acorn say when it grew up?
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its
Mathematicians at the beach
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
Zero said to eight
Q: What did the zero say to the eight?
New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass,
a protractor and a graphical calculator.
Q: What does the little mermaid wear?
Q. Why is the number six scared of seven?
Q. What do you call a crushed angle?
Pupil: Would you punish me for something I haven't done? Teacher: Of course not. Pupil: That's good because I haven't done my homework!
Dog with a bad foot
Q. Why is a dog with a bad foot like adding 6 and 7? A. Because he puts down three and carries the one.
Q. Why are misers good Maths Teachers? A. Because they know how to make every penny count!.
Q. Why are powers like fish? A. Because they're all indices (in the seas!)
How many times?
Q: how many times can you subtract 7 from 83, and what is left afterwards?
Q. Why did the Maths textbook look so sad? A. Because it had so many problems and the chemistry book had all the solutions.
Three types of people
There are three types of people in the world, those who can count and those who can't.
If it is cold, go and stand in the corner, because it is 90 degrees there.
There are 10 kinds of people in this world; those who understand binary and those who don't.
Try to avoid doing calculus when you are thirsty. You have heard the warning, don't drink and derive!
Q. What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?
3.14% of Sailors are PI rates!
Q. What do you call a saucepan of simmering soup on top of a mountain?
Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X, she's not coming back. We don't know Y either.
Q. Why did the (x2+1) tree fall over?
I will do algebra, I'll do trigonometry and I'll even do statistics but geometry and graphing is where I draw the line!
Calendars, their days are numbered.
The following sign appeared on an episode of the Simpsons.
I don't understand how to double 2n. It sounds 4n to me.
What did the Mathematician say after eating a very large dinner?
Glasses improve vision
Always wear glasses to Maths lessons. They help with division!
I see you have graph paper. You must be plotting something!
Q. What did the complementary angle say to the acute angle?
Why did the mathematician think that Halloween was the same as Christmas?
Two hundred and eighty eight
I could tell you a joke about 288… But I won’t as it’s two gross!
Q. Which one of King Arthur's knights built the round table?
I am terrified of negative numbers. I will stop at nothing to avoid them!
Can't Keep Still
What do you call a number that can’t keep still? A: A roamin’ numeral.
I Love Maths
I love Maths but what seems odd to me are integers not divisible by two.
Did you know that you can buy numbers but the most expensive is π.
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